on being healthy

as the weather gets warmer (um, frighteningly warmer) i have decided it's time for me to get my tush into gear and start living a sustainably healthy life. i've given up drinking for the most part over the last few months and in that sense i feel amazing... but winter months leave me wanting to stuff my face with delicious comfort food and, incidentally, feeling not-so-great in my own skin. it's not about losing weight or being skinny* - in fact, i actually feel better about myself when i'm curvy. it's about being healthy. i have been battling with disordered eating for as long as i can remember and i'm exhausted of it.

i think that the most difficult part for me is getting the dreamboat to work with me on this. he doesn't need to lose weight and he doesn't like public displays of exercise (i don't either, really, but i realize i need to overcome this in order to succeed in my goals) so getting him to do the buddy system with me is not so simple. however, my friend bee has already jump-started her healthier-life-overhaul and i have chatted with her about being my buddy! this is very exciting. i need help staying motivated. this is not going to be easy.

so, here goes. i am writing this publicly because i feel as though i'm holding myself more accountable for my actions. it's a bit embarassing, but most people i know would change something about themselves if they could. for me, i just want to be healthier. i want to eat more whole foods. i want to drink more water. i want to make up for abusing my body through disordered eating for all of these years.

today is the day it starts. i'm excited and i am very scared. wish me luck...

*i want to take a moment to mention that this is in no way about size for me. i think that beauty transcends dress size or thigh circumference (and i am lucky to have a partner who feels the same way). that being said, i have been diagnosed with body dysmorphic disorder, so for me it's not about my physical size. the healthier i am, the better i will feel about the way that i look.

Comments

[sof]

Having also battled disordered eating, I understand what you're dealing with. You have my utmost respect and support on your journey of healthier eating and to feeling good! Feel free to text/e.mail/call anytime- even if it's just a hello.
I'm so proud of you. :)

[Eva]

You always look amazing but I totally know what you mean! I battle with it myself and being healthy really is the most important thing... Saying you are going to make a change is the first step and doing it publicly is even better! XOXOXO!

Eva